5 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person

1. The World only cares about what they receive from you. 

I am the nice girl. I am kind. I am sweet. It's what everyone has always written in my yearbooks and birthday cards. But what can "nice" accomplish? Imagine someone you love is on a plane and stops breathing and needs to be trach'ed. You scream "is there a doctor on board?!" I come running forward with my pen cap, trying to think back to all the movies where they stab it into the person's throat and the patient magically can breathe again. Before I start, you ask if I am a doctor. "Well no. I will soon have a doctorate of physical therapy, which is at least in the medical field. And I am nice and have never committed a crime or even really been that mean throughout life. I intend to do good, here."  Uhhh...If I were in your shoes I would NOT let those "qualifications" allow me to stab a pen cap into the throat of someone I love! I don't care how sweet the person is, I just need someone who can satisfy my need right here right now. I need a medical doctor or a nurse or a medic.

If my computer crashes, I need the IT guy, not the doc.
If I my friend gets cancer, I need someone to hold me and come with me to visit them, not someone to say "I'll be praying for them" and never follow through.
If girls are being trafficked, they need an actual rescue, not a stigma associated with them. 

Sure, nice girls and guys can accomplish those things. But its not what makes them qualified. Yet, isn't that how we often act? Our good intentions trump the fact that cant actually give what other need. So what happens with such cases? Usually, Apathy or damage.
We have to learn specific unique skills to specifically help people and to be needed by them. Otherwise, you will be rejected and left in the dust for some other nice guy who can preform surgery or play the guitar.

 The field is beautiful, but you have to add to it to have game. 

2. What you produce does not have to be money, but it does have to benefit people. 

What do you bring to the table? Because a know several beautiful girls who work out 5 times a week, feel guilty if they eat more than a salad, and will be doctors in 5 years...whom, if you met them, would be day dreaming of for the next week. What do you bring to the table to impress them? Because, yes, the nice guy will grab her attention, but the fact is, that there are many "nice guys" that surround them. Yet not one of them is dating. 

We have to ask ourselves "what can we offer?" Are you smart? Funny? Creative? Determined?
Once you've figured out that answer, then you have to as yourself, "What in my life demonstrates these attributes?" You can't say you are the nice girl/gal because, let's face it, that's the minimum requirement for anything. 

The person on the plane in not breathing, are you a doctor that can successful preform the "trach" or not?! This is all harsh reality of our world. So your answer is "No, I'm not a doctor." or "No, I am not a crazy murderer, or addict, or player." WONDERFUL. Bless the Lord that you've been protected and had blessings in your life to get you to the title of "nice girl/guy." But, if you want to keep moving forward to gain that unique skill and become a need to others, you have to do something about it. You need to demonstrate your unique skills and qualities for others to see.

1 Peter 4:10-11 // Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should so so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised though Jesus Christ.

3. Low self-esteem has nothing to do with "being bad" at something, but everything to do with doing nothing. 

Step one to improving yourself, is to start becoming the the type of girl the guy wants to be around...or the type of worker the company wants to hire...or the leader the church wants to hire. 

So often, step one gets skipped. We always ask, "How can I get that job?" or "How can I get that guy to like me?" By asking these questions, instead of the step one, we are taking a detour around the fact that we need to change ourselves to accomplish these goals of ours. 

I want to be a pediatric physical therapist. So ya know what I had to do? 7 years of college. And in the past year and a half, I've had to sacrifice money, friendships, and hobbies. Why sacrifice so much of myself? Because I had to. There is no other path but grad school and practice to make it into my field. But in then end, I'll have skilled care and knowledge that most other people can't claim. I'll be unique and can satisfy specific needs. 

You want to find your husband or wife? Me too.
But I don't feel ready. There is still so much I need to change to get to that place and I need to stop believing the Enemy's lies that my failing relationships have resulted due to my faults or failures to or not being all that the boyfriend needed. Nope, it is more so due to the fact that I had stopped growing in the Lord and was becoming content in "all that I wasn't."

Changing is not a place of comfort. Growth comes when we step outside of comfort zones and into a place where we face fears and risks. 

God plan for you: Turn all the "human nature" into a righteous wo/man of God. 

4. What you are on the inside only matters because of what it makes you do.

 But, what about love and kindness?! Should we reject it, to accomplish these skill sets? Oh no no no. It too is so important. So important I have "Faith, Hope, and Love." tattooed on me. These values are the source of any good deed or skill set we preform.

Col 3:22-24 // Whatever you do, work at it with all of your heart, as for working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord you are serving. 

We love because God first loved us.
We serve because love drives us.
Love is a choice and only successful if expressed as a verb. 

With faith, comes actions.
With good trees, comes good fruit. 

With good dirt, comes healthy saplings. 

The theme spans across the entire Bible.

And now you need to put it into practice, knowing your desire alone is not enough. 

So often, your ego gets in the way by saying to you, "I just have to be myself" or " I'm a good person and they will see that once they get to know me." But the reality of those self pep talks is that you are afraid of doing the hard work of improving. 

Yet, don't misunderstand me.
Who you are on the inside DOES matter. You are uniquely designed and uniquely loved by the Lord.
Who you are, your personality and your intentions, is the metaphorical tree or dirt from which the fruit grows. But the harsh reality is that only your fruit impacts the world. 

It also impacts relationships. This one I'm personalty quite guilt of. How may times have I walked around thinking "If only that great guy knew how interesting I am, THEN theis relationships would be successful."?! Yet, if a camera followed me around, if I joined a reality TV show, would others REALLY think I was interesting? People are not mind-readers, they can only observe. And we must preform to inform of whatever it is we want them to know or receive.

Brother Lawrence once said, "We ought not to be weary of doing the little things for the love of God, who regards not the greatness of the work, but the love with which it is preformed." Yes, I am getting a big ol' fancy doctorate degree, but in all honestly, I'd rather be known for my love.
To be known, one must be exceptionally good or bad at something. Mediocrity just doesn't get talked about or nearly noticed. We have to preform (the unique skill set) exceptionally well and with and from a place of exceptional love to be make that grand difference. 

5. Everything inside of you will fight improvement.

I'm positive everyone was taken criticism personally and gotten defensive at some point in there life. It's our human pride to defend our actions and to view the brutal honesty as an insult, rather than motivation for change. We point out imperfections of the messenger, we focus on tone over content, we pretend that accepting any self-improvement would be "selling" ourselves. 

Happiness. Self-improvement. Becoming an expert at something. Getting married. Make a difference in the world. Impacting God's kingdom...These all take effort. They will not just come when the time is right, nor will they they happen without courage. Courage to face fears of harsh critiques, of failures, or of having to start over.

Hope has to be the focus. Hope that every bit of this is possible because there is a God who wants to preciously refine us into more loving children reaching to expand His Holy kingdom. 

Ladies and gents, I believe we can all make those steps of love, courage, hope, and determination to accomplish our goals of becoming someone uniquely talented whom will find him/herself in demand to fill the needs in which they are qualified to serve. 

Make that your mission. Stand motivated and challenged to impact the world.
I think we, myself being equally challenged, will be shock and awed in how much can serve the world and restore it back to the abundance that the we're called to live in. 

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A lot of this material is from a blog with a lot of profane language, yet some solid content. All large concept (titles) are credited to them with my added thoughts and influences from scripture. All photos are mine. Please don't swipe them without at least asking ;D