Stones of Stress.

"I can't do anything right," I sobbed last night in my mini crisis on the dark steps of my front porch. The tears flooded my eyes and my attempt to hold it all together had finally crumbled under the pressure of too many little stones. Stones of stress that I thought I could carry and control.

Multiple areas of life handed me unfortunate circumstances, none of which I asked for and all of which I tried to prevent. I felt out of control and helpless in each and every one of the situations of stress. 

Through the shaking of my sobs, the sweet voice next to me told me, "Maybe you can just wait each situation out and hope they work themselves out." In the moment I thought, "I've tried that, but each just comes back or repeats again. I don't know how to find the solutions so they can officially end."

Today, I realized it's not about what I do with these stones, but to whom I give them to.

The trigger of my makeup meltdown was simply my loss of control and I realized I'd lost an idol.

The idol of control, meaning my unwillingness to let go of my control and let God do His work. 

Apparently I'm very good at deception for I'd self-talked myself into thinking I was allowing God to direct my life when I really wasn't at all. I'd tightly squeeze each area of my life close to my chest, believing I knew what I was doing.

 

The stack of stress stones, the ones I thought I could carry around, in all my super strength...

well, they got real heavy and I collapsed in the reality that I'm weak and not actually in control at all.

Idol crushed.

Rocks are not meant to be carried, regardless of strength.
And life's stress is not meant to be either, regardless of size.

We're meant to give our fears, our stresses, our worries to the Lord God.
For He is strong enough. Always.
From the Lord comes deliverance. 

Remember that, self.

Matthew 6: 25-34

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.