Trusting in the Unknown "Best"

I learned to be Miss Independent early. I didn't ask, I just did what I wanted. 

You'd think that maybe that is due to terribly parenting, but I believe it's the reverse. My parents taught me so well what I should and shouldn't do, that I naturally choose the right thing to do. My parents trusted me. They always said "yes, princess" because I never asked to do anything worthy of a different answer. 

Yet, I've been marked by it. I simply cannot handle being told "no" when it's something I passionately want. I feel anger, wonder to as why I can't be granted my desire, and sadness inescapable of tears.

In real life, it looks like this:
I didn't get the clinical rotation at St. Jude's that I DREAMED of having.
The rotation that seemed to be a perfect fit for me.
The one that everyone I said I was a shoe in to be picked for. 

The past month, I've had too many no's from life to remain held together
or to not pick up on the theme of what the Lord is trying to teach me: TRUST!

This has become my hope, my prayer.

I know that the Lord, at least in theory at the moment, wants the best for me.

He has a plan for me to reach the best places in life,

even when my definition and desire of  the "best" turn out to be unattainable.

So in my pain of rejection, I am striving to trust that 

the Lord is shaping me into a new and better daughter,

that He is making me new,

annnnd His plan really is the best for me.

I couldn't have asked or imagined a greater Father.