Uncertainty.

When the current most common question I get is "What's next?" 

and my current most common answer is "I don't know."

there is a bit of dissatisfaction that creeps in. 

I feel as if I owe the world a better answer. 

Honestly, I feel as if I deserve a better answer. 

I have been in school for over 2 decades

and pursing life as a physical therapist for nearly as long,

so it's easy to jump to the desire of wanting my dream job now, right now. 

However, the Lord is teaching me to trust him even more deeply. 

He is teaching me to live the life he presently has for me,

trusting him to work out the details of tomorrow,

and to come to Him when I need my spirits lifted. 

I am amazed at the "coincidences" that come up in life 

to continuously yield the exact lessons I need to hear.

Today's addition was the daily devotional from Utmost for His Highest:

[[Our natural inclination is to be so precise, 

trying always to forecast accurately what will happen next

that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing. 

We think that we must reach some predetermined goal, 

but that is not the nature of the spiritual life. 

The nature of the spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty....

Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life

gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. 

To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, 

not knowing what tomorrow may bring. 

This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, 

but it should be an expression of breathless expectation. 

We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. 

As soon as we abandon ourselves to God and do the task He has placed closest to us, 

He begins to fill our lives with surprises. 

When we become simply a promoter or a defender of a particular belief, 

something within us dies. That is not believing God

it is only believing our belief about Him. 

Jesus said, “. . . unless you . . . become as little children . . .” (Matthew 18:3). 

The spiritual life is the life of a child. 

We are not uncertain of God, just uncertain of what He is going to do next.

 If our certainty is only in our beliefs, 

we develop a sense of self-righteousness, 

become overly critical, 

and are limited by the view that our beliefs are complete and settled. 

But when we have the right relationship with God, 

life is full of spontaneous, 

joyful uncertainty 

and expectancy. 

Jesus said, “. . . believe also in Me” (John 14:1), 

not, “Believe certain things about Me”. 

Leave everything to Him and it will be gloriously 

and graciously uncertain how He will come in

but you can be certain that He will come. 

Remain faithful to Him.]]

In the weeks ahead

as I search the world for the start of my career,

I am expectant of the Lord to lead,

the doors to open,

the odds to continue to be defeated,

and the joys of uncertainty to fill my lungs 

causing breathless excitement for tomorrow.