The Now.

I've always been the oldest amongst my friends. I have believed I knew life well and was wiser than most my age. I even flaunted my seniority over others.Yet, times are shifting and a new unknown season is beginning.

Since May, I have never felt younger in my life. I've been clueless in India in how to maintain joy and composure at times. Back in the States, my fellow grads have started their professional jobs while I've starting working for a woman who entered Harvard Law at age 19. These experiences make me think of how unproductive I have been in my life compared to theirs. For the next 3 years, I'll continue to be a student and not be able to start "grown up" life until 2014. And as I explain some of this to all the older young adults at my house church, I see the thoughts in some of their eyes that express how "young" and "unexperienced"  they believe I am. 

To a point, I am young. 23 years is not even 1/3 of my life expectancy. But I've learned that life is not guaranteed tomorrow. So even though I am 23, I desire to do great things for the Lord's kingdom while I am here. WHY haven't I done more by this point? 

My mom may be reading this and think I am crazy for even thinking that I haven't done enough. To her, I am "super Christian" because she knows nothing else. But I  have read stories like Katie Davis's and I am inspired to do more. At 22, Katie is the adoptive mother to 14 Ugandan girls. Really? A 22 year old moving across the world to go care for and show God's love to 14 daughters who deeply needed compassion? It is a motivating, impacting, and joyful life that she has run after. As I read her story and blog, my spirit rose within me and I felt the yearn to go and live a life like Katie's, right now. The desire is there to do something big. Why have I not accomplished such a life yet?

But the Lord gently reminded me that I am. The life I desire is in the making. He has designed me as a physical therapist that will one day treat those desperately in need of medical care, show them compassion with hugs and kisses, and then show them how the Lord's love will transform their life. 

I want my dreams to be happening now, yet the Lord has His own set of clocks and calenders that look extremely different than ours. 

Now is the time of preparation for a beautiful "grown up" life. His purpose for me has not changed because I won't start my profession till 27.  I want to pour all my love into a hopeless, uncared for child, teach a country that physical therapy is essential, start a home for kids with disabilities, and restore Hope to the glimmering eyes of the kids...all RIGHT NOW. I want all of that, yet I know that my current season is necessary to make the rest work in the way the Lord intends. 

I am choosing to live in the "now" and give it my all, knowing that the Lord is molding me into exactly the woman needed to fulfill the role of my life's path. 

In His strength, with his wisdom, and for His glory, His work in me will come to completion.