Everything rides on faith now.

IT'S OFFICIAL: I AM GOING TO EMORY!

It's been a constant battle inside my thoughts on whether I am crazy and screwed...or trusting and blessed. If any of you have seen Tangled, I honestly feel like Rapunzel in the scene where she switches dramatically from leaps of joy to tears of regret, over and over again. Let me explain...

In the past week, I've battled with the decision to choose Armstrong or Emory as my DPT program. It was not easy and I literally switched my preference multiple times a day. I sought wisdom from numerous people, researched every aspect of each school, attempted to plan out my life for the next 10ish years, and made myself sick from being so consumed by the anxiety of making the "wrong" choice.

Finally, after exhausting the above and myself, I sought God. Something I should have done at the start.

Tuesday, I got alone and undistracted to listen to the Holy Spirit, whom led me to conclude that I had two great options and that God would provide uniquely for each school. In other words, I needed to stop fearing that Emory’s high tuition or Armstrong’s distant/newness would be too much for me to handle. While this time was needed to lift the anxiety, it didn't lead me to know which school was the best pick. I stayed in conversation with the Spirit the remainder of the week and tried to see the signs I asked God to give me.

A couple huge ones stood out:

*I had paperwork issues, applied way late in the rolling application process, have only slightly above average GPA/GRE, 600+! students applied...all factors against me...yet Emory accepted me 4 days after the interview.

*I learned I missed an email from Georgia State requesting me to rsvp on whether I wanted to stay on the waitlist, therefore causing me to never be placed on the list in the first place. When I tried to resolve the situation, Georgia State was unhelpful and unprofessional in the way they refused to consider my position to be placed back on the waitlist. Door slammed shut.

*The Lord has a habit of using solutions in my life to also act as preparations for the next seasons of life. [Example: using the RA job, a financial solution, as a preparation for living alone in India and Dunwoody.]  During the last few months of my 9 months in Dunwoody I dwelt on how perfect of a job this nanny position has been for my year off and couldn't help but to wonder how this time was being used to prepare me for the next phase. My social and spiritual community was being established in Atlanta and I felt that I was being prepared to stay in this city that I was growing increasing affectionate towards.

*At the Emory interview, I sat to talk with a girl I sort of knew from UGA that is now a first year at Emory. Long story short, she HAS my story: Debating a choice between a freaking expensive dream school and another medocre reasonably priced school. Hating the fact that life-long financial struggles played such a huge impact on her pathway to becoming a pediatric physical therapist. Wanting her God to pave the path she should take. Trusting her God would provide. Fearing the repercussions of huge financial debt. She was IN my shoes last year. I didn’t realize it as first, but the fact that she was at the interview, that I got to talk to her, that I she's been where I am at...IS A BIG DEAL.

Because I am human, caution and fear caused me to still doubt Emory as the choice, despite all the above signs.

The practical side of me, the worldly side, often questions why would I, in my right mind, take on 2.5 times the amount of student loans. My answer: Because my God is faithful. I believe that God would not so easily have opened Emory's narrow door if I would end up in a bad situation. He is FOR ME. He is for my dreams. Who am I to doubt the power of God to provide financially for something He's called me to....especially when He has already displayed that power in my life.

The final indication that Emory was the school of choice was my sense of excitement inside that I didn't experience with any other school. It was small at first because I was so resistant to letting the idea of Emory settle in, but the joy grew to the point of joyful tears.

Finally, I came to realize that Emory is where I am supposed to be.

I know because I have a:

Peace in my decision.
An excitement for a literal dream come true.
Dependence on God’s provision.
A powerful Father.
A hope that I’m in His will.
Faith that God is who He says He is.

Moments of doubt, regret still sneak in.
But at the end of the day, it all rides on faith.

To quote a friend, " I cannot wait to see how beautiful this journey will be!"